The Betrayal of Angela Paxton

How one woman's tweet exposed mass misogyny and bad theology in the church.

A few days ago, Ken and Angela Paxton announced their divorce.

The Paxtons are what I would describe as fixtures in the evangelical-political landscape of Texas. Ken Paxton is the current Attorney General and Angela is a senator.

In the 1990s, the Paxtons were instrumental in founding Stonebriar Community Church, an enormous congregation north of Dallas. Since then they’ve joined Prestonwood Baptist, an SBC megachurch in Plano.

Ken has been AG for a decade, and before that he was a senator. He’s a household name to anyone tuned in to Lone Star politics. However, he’s hardly the white knight conservatives want him to be. 

In 2015, Ken was indicted on state securities fraud charges. In 2020, people in his own office accused him of "bribery, abuse of office, and other crimes." In 2023, he was impeached and suspended following a litany of charges including bribery and fraud. Though later acquitted, the recurring pattern was unsettling to many Texans.

In 2018, Ken gathered his staff together and confessed that he’d had an extramarital affair. Though he claimed the affair was over, and vowed to fix his marriage with Angela, Ken’s secret rendezvous continued for several years.

It’s unclear what’s happened since then. What is clear is that Angela is done.

On July 10, Angela posted:

“Today, after 38 years of marriage, I filed for divorce on biblical grounds. I believe marriage is a sacred covenant and I have earnestly pursued reconciliation. But in light of recent discoveries, I do not believe that it honors God or is loving to myself, my children, or Ken to remain in the marriage. I move forward with complete confidence that God is always working everything together for the good of those who love Him and who are called according to His purpose.”

Per Angela’s request, the court sealed the divorce proceedings, but not before The Texas Tribune grabbed paperwork revealing that the couple hasn’t lived together for over a year and Ken is accused of “adultery.”

Why do I bring this up?

Because it’s Angela, not Ken, who is being lambasted on social media.

There are over 15,000 comments on her post, and most are either criticizing her for filing for divorce, or shaming her for explaining her reasons.

Matthew VanDyke asked, “Is anything kept private anymore?”

Brendan Dilley asked, “Why would you publicly announce this?”

One woman posted, “Thank you for being such a horrible person. You are the perfect example of a non-Christian individual who thinks she has the moral high ground. There are no biblical grounds to end a marriage. You’re a small, spiteful person without dignity, self-respect, or class.”

Fr. Calvin Robinson chided, “Marriage is a lifelong indissoluble union. I pray you can both find a way through this. ‘What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put assunder.’”

Another woman quipped, “This type of post only hurts your children and makes you look vengeful instead of forgiving which is what our Lord asks of us. I pray you see the error of your ways and delete this.”

And the shaming goes on and on and on. 

The victim of adultery is being dragged by fellow “Christians.”

But this is not the first time abused wives have been shamed in this way. And make no mistake, infidelity – especially serial adultery – is absolutely a form of abuse. In fact, quite a few divorced women will find these cruel replies typical and to be expected.

Divorce is heavily stigmatized in Christian culture, particularly when it’s the wife who files. There are many who will even blame the wife for her husband’s infidelity, claiming that if she were more attractive, or a better housekeeper, or better in bed, he never would have cheated.

So, in the interest of debunking this hellacious theology, let’s consider a few relevant points:

Angela stood by Ken for 38 years despite multiple betrayals.
Despite repeated instances of infidelity, Angela stood by her husband. She supported his career. She exemplified forbearance. By all accounts, she tried to maintain their union – and certainly their public image – even after he repeatedly violated it. She was the model of a long-suffering spouse. Ken broke the covenant, not Angela.

She has been worn down.
It’s hard to imagine the level of exhaustion, anger, and betrayal Angela must feel. After all, it’s not like they’re fighting over how to load the dishwasher. She’s been cheated on again and again and again, and much of it has been highly publicized, exacerbating her humiliation. Who are we to judge her for how she handles this? Is being angry wrong? Is feeling betrayed wrong? Is speaking the truth wrong? No. She’s entirely justified in being absolutely devastated and she may express her feelings in whatever words seem best to her. She is a senator, but she’s also a human being, and this level of betrayal isn’t something most of us would handle with any decorum whatsoever. In fact, most of us would have divorced him a long time ago.

Angela didn’t slander, spread rumors, or air dirty laundry.
Within hours of the divorce papers being filed, photos of it were published on social media and quoted by major news outlets including CBS and The Texas Tribune. The paperwork cites “adultery” as the grounds for the divorce, and reveals that the Paxtons no longer live together. Angela did not say anything which the media did not expose. In fact, she said less. She simply spoke the truth on her own terms, and I think she deserves that right.

Family crises don’t wait for your politics.
Some have claimed that the timing of this divorce is suspicious given that Ken is running for congress. However, it was only a matter of time before the media put together that Angela and Ken weren’t living together. In fact, it’s amazing they were able to live separately for over a year without anyone noticing. It’s also a testament to the fact that Angela tried to keep things confidential for a remarkably long time.

However, as media attention grew with his campaign, pressure would have mounted, and waiting for the inevitable exposure of their broken relationship would have felt like sitting on a powder keg. Besides finding the suspense unbearable, she may have felt a moral responsibility to withdraw all appearance of support from the man who has allegedly betrayed her yet again.

Angela has biblical grounds for exposing her husband’s sin.
After David was offended by Nabal, he planned to wipe out Nabal’s entire clan. As David’s troops armed themselves, Nabal’s wife, Abigail, arrived at the camp. She begged David not to go to war against her husband, saying, “Please pay no attention to that wicked man Nabal. He is just like his name; his name means Fool.” 

Was Abigail wrong to publicly expose her husband’s evil and idiocy? No. On the contrary, the Bible says that Abigail was “an intelligent and beautiful woman.” After hearing Abigail out, David praises her “good judgement,” and decides not to go to war against Nabal.

In his letter to Timothy, Paul writes, “Alexander the metalworker did me a great deal of harm. The Lord will repay him for what he has done. You too should be on your guard against him, because he strongly opposed our message.”

Paul clearly and emphatically warns Timothy against trusting or associating with Alexander any further. Paul does not keep his offense or Alexander’s betrayal confidential. Instead, he publicly warns the church, and here we are still talking about that jerk Alexander nearly 2,000 years later.

Finally, as Jesus sat around the dinner table with his disciples, he said, “Very truly I tell you, one of you is going to betray me.”

When asked who his betrayer would be, Jesus answered, “It is the one to whom I will give this piece of bread when I have dipped it in the dish.”

Then, he dipped his bread, and gave it to Judas.

Jesus Christ, the Son of God, did not keep the secrets of betrayers. He publicly exposed the sins of Judas before his disciples, and before everyone who was celebrating Passover with them that night.

So, while lying is wrong, and gossip is wrong, and slander is wrong, Angela did none of these things. She followed the biblical examples of Abigail, Paul, and Jesus when she explained why she was seeking a divorce. She was also very clear that she still loves Christ, despite the unfathomable betrayal of her Christian husband.

For what it’s worth, if you were ever betrayed by a spouse – whether you were cheated on or otherwise abused – I fully support your right to express your grief, and to protect yourself and your children. If divorce is the tragic but last God-honoring option left to you, I see your strength and acknowledge your sacrifice. And I will never shame you or blame you for sharing your account truthfully.

We do not have a God who demands your silence in the face of evil.

“Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.” Ephesians 5:11

Header image by LM Otero / AP.