Fighting in the Shadows

Working with law enforcement to catch a child abuser and killer.

Last month, Jason and I got away for a much needed (and very rare) break. We dropped the kids off at their grandparents house and caught a 10 hour plane flight to Newcastle, England.

This was my first trip outside the U.S.. I’d traveled to many wonderful places across the States (my favorites being the California Redwood Forest, Colorado Springs, San Francisco, and New York City), but I’ve always dreamed of visiting England. Subsequently, this trip was extremely special to me, and really a second honeymoon for us.

We chose Newcastle because Jason travels there sometimes for work and generally knows the lay of the land. It’s not the typical tourist trap, and there are lots of little pubs, restaurants, and area attractions. We toured a castle that was built in the 1100s, discovered Indian curries, and had a pint or three in pubs built in the 1600s. Here’s an underground cellar where we had lunch:

The bricks and stones are hand-made or hand cut. The photo really doesn’t do justice to the atmosphere, which felt like stepping back in time.

Here’s me imprisoned in the castle:

And here’s the exterior of another ancient castle by the sea:

You can find a bunch more photos on my Facebook page here.

Overall, it was a wonderful trip, and the perfect break I needed to clear my head in the midst of the most horrific child abuse case I’ve ever handled.

As you know, I serve as an advocate for children in the church. I help pastors and church leaders report crimes, minister to victims, and protect their congregations. I also help parents care for traumatized kids and serve as a liaison to facilitate communication with church leaders and law enforcement.

All the cases are heartbreaking.

All of them are uniquely difficult and complicated.

Sometimes my role is to gather evidence, catalog documents, and report it to police. Other times, I’m just a listening ear and a quiet friend who walks alongside in the Valley of the Shadow.

I don’t get paid for my advocacy work. I rarely to never meet the victims I serve, most of whom are children. I connect their parents and pastors with investigators, therapists, and crime victim resources.

I used to juggle multiple cases at once, which proved intense and sometimes overwhelming. I still do that here and there, but for the past year or so, I’ve devoted myself almost entirely to one very special case. It’s a homicide.

As with all of my cases, my main client is Jesus Christ.

In this case, however, there is no one left to talk to. There is no victim alive to pray for, though I pray for their loved ones regularly. I cannot reach out to their relatives or friends because I don’t want to give them false hope in case my efforts are in vain. My only communication is with a few close confidants and some overworked detectives who appreciate my help but can’t tell me how their investigation is going.

It’s isolating work.

It’s a silent mission.

My client is still Jesus, so in that sense nothing has changed.

But there’s a heaviness to this case. A privilege and a sacred trust. I feel uniquely called and equipped to bring about justice, closure, and truth for people who no longer hope or expect it.

You see, as a child abuse survivor, I understand how abusers think. I understand how sexual predators and violent criminals behave. Because of this, I was able to connect dots and piece together information in a cold case I’d accidentally come across online. By digging through decades of social media posts, blogs, Instagram photos, public records, and court documents, I found information that wasn’t available when investigators initially worked the case.

I can’t tell you too much about it, because the investigation is ongoing and the killer is still at large. But someday … someday … I hope and pray that we can celebrate justice and truth together. We can pray for the victim’s loved ones by name and praise God for giving them some fraction of closure.

This case has been an incredible weight on my heart and mind. I believe that God will finish his work. I feel he gave me the ability, insight, and opportunity to do what possibly no one else would have or could have done.

And when you have the opportunity to do what’s right - to stop evil - you do it. It doesn’t matter how difficult it is, how long it takes, or whether anybody ever knows or understands what you’ve done.

All that matters is Jesus. And Jesus is Justice.

The Lord is in his holy temple;
the Lord is on his heavenly throne.
He observes everyone on earth;
his eyes examine them.

The Lord examines the righteous,
but the wicked, those who love violence,
he hates with a passion.

On the wicked he will rain
fiery coals and burning sulfur;
a scorching wind will be their lot.

For the Lord is righteous,
he loves justice,
and the upright will see his face.

Psalm 11:4-7

Much love,

Jennifer